If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize