You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
