I wish I could teleport
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
