I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
