don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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