We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize