remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
