Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
