Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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