everyone is single if you try hard enough
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
