Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
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