Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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