I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
