Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
