Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
