I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
