We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
