1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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