What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize