i barfeds in our rink
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
