Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
