We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
The adults are the big ones right?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
