Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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