is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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