Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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