My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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