I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
