Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
