With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
