Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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