Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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