My boss' voice literally gives me gas
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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