ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
are you so shy because you have an std?
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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