im about as happy as oj after his trial
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
