just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
