im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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