Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize