I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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