Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
