Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize
