take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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