He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
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