Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
