We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
