this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
