Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize