ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
He kissed a someone with a penis
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Randomize
