Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
