I wanna bring you to show and tell
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Randomize
