she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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