are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
