i don't like sucking hair
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize