do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
