oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
