forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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