What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
