I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
