Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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