I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
