I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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