did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
