stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Randomize
