never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
