please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
