Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
